Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
