thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize