I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She's the barista slut.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
