I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
4 words: hood of his car
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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