i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
