HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
