i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
