So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
