there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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