Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We need to get me chipped asap
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
