i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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