you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
