So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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