I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize