Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she peed on how many people?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
