apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
