i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
