We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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