Four minutes until I can fart!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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