That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
