Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
