You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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