Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
