1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
