Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
