U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
