she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
