we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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