Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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