What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
