dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My feet surprised me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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