The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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