I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
