I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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