only if we run a train.
done.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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