I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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