we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
