I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
