He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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