Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
false alarm, still single
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
