I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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