Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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