I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
