I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
