clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
