My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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