4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
