oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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