Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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