This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
