yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
