Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
