You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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