Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
