she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
