Are we in a gay sports bar?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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