I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
