my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
