Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
