The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
