JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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