if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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