wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
