She is in my trunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
